Thursday, January 11, 2007

Perils Of Blogging, Part 1: Too Much Swag

Oh, excuse me, just need to readjust my new Land of Leather 3 person recliner so it's in the perfect position. Ahh, there it is. OK, look I know you're probably wondering at this point - "Sure, there's all that fame, adulation, and financial independence that comes with being a left-wing blogger, but isn't there a downside?". Well, yes, there is. There are several, actually, but here's one you may not have been aware of - people keep sending you all this stuff.

Ever since I started blogging a week ago, it's just been coming to the door. Can't get a thing done. How they found Casa Cujo I have no idea - it's not listed in the phone book, I can tell you that. Nevertheless, they found me, and a seemingly endless stack of goodies has been piling up in my entry ever since. Computers, HDTVs, cell phones, wine, cheese assortments, furniture, even a sports car of some sort. I told the guy who brought it "Look, there's no place in the Seattle area I can drive this thing faster than I can drive a four-cylinder pickup". "Hey", the guy said, "they just told me to leave it here". So I had him leave it next to the Corvette someone brought here yesterday. Pretty soon it's going to be buried in all the furniture that won't fit in my house, but what can I do? Hmm. Maybe I can give it to the poor. They take used vehicles. Meanwhile, it should be easy to spot since it's two spaces away from the Hummer.

Of course, being liberal, I'm swimming in the dough anyway. So after a while I started wondering why they were sending me this stuff. Thanks to The Ace of Spades, I've found the answer. It turns out that they've been looking for product endorsements.

You see, for reasons that surpass understanding, companies think it's cool to be mentioned in a liberal blog. I hadn't suspected this, but the Ace of Spades says so, so I figure he must have better sources in retail than I do. Apparently, when we need new limousines or Gulfstream jets, we first peruse our favorite progressive sites. None of this had occured to me; I'm not sure why. For some reason, they're not quite as interested in endorsements from our brothers on the right side of the web, and apparently it's caused a little friction.

I have TRex over at Firedoglake to thank for clearing this up. Apparently, the cruelty of it all finally got to the Ace of Spades, so he called TRex out when TRex blatantly plugged a new cell phone he received from Apple. Of course, TRex denies getting one of these, but I know better. They just left a couple here yesterday, and I don't even have a cell phone contract. "Nevermind", they said "you can use it to download porn". I told them I could probably do that with the desktop computer Apple left here the other day, if I just figure out where to put the 30 inch monitor. The thing clashes with the sectional sofa the Brits sent me with the recliner.

Anyway, TRex, I know I'm not in a position to be giving advice. You've been doing this for years, and I've just started. Nevertheless, here it is - try some subtlety, dude! You know, there are people out there who don't have 50 inch plasma screen TVs and digital cable. Just try to work those little product placement deals into the text of your articles and they'll compliment you on your painstaking research.


oregondave said...

Ha Ha!! Good one Cujo. Keep up the GOOD WORK!

(This part's not visible, right? OK. E-mail me ASAP via the secret liberalblog internet line. I wasn't quite clear on what swag you were offering me for this comment . . .)

neurophius said...

Say, Cujo, could you steer a little of that loot in my direction? I don't have a blog yet, but I'm thinking about starting one, and I might as well start enjoying some of the benefits.

Cujo359 said...

oregondave - you forgot to pick: Prius or Hummer?

neurophius - all you have to do is start your own blog, and it just happens. Trust me. Really.