Football's Almost Over: 2013 Edition

Caption: The Vince Lombardi Trophy. At the end of each Super Bowl, the team with the highest score gets to keep this thing. Don't ask me why - it's just one of the rules.

Image credit: BrokenSphere/Wikimedia

Yes, it's finally here once again - the day the pre-game interviews finally end, and seventy or so large men push each other around in the mud for three hours until a champion is crowned. Sports fans may recognize this event as the Super Bowl, the National Football League's championship game. People who aren't sports fans, but who have the misfortune to live in America at this time of year, certainly do.

Since this year's game will be in the New Orleans Superdome, though, there won't be much mud. If that's what you're looking for, you'll probably have to go elsewhere.

The only reason I even remembered that this was Super Bowl weekend was that I was grocery shopping on Friday. The nice lady who was checking the groceries asked me "Are you ready for Super Bowl weekend?"

To which I replied, "Umm, sure. Who's playing?" She didn't know, either.

It turns out that it's the San Francisco 49ers playing the Baltimore Ravens. San Francisco's baseball team won the World Series this year, so that alone would suggest that someone else should win here. The Ravens are also the team Baltimore finally ended up with after the city told the Colts they couldn't have everything they wanted, because there were a lot of people who need financial assistance and transportation there. Or something. Anyway, the Colts started playing their home games in Indianapolis, which seems to have upset at least a few people in both cities. Nothing tugs at the heart-strings of city managers like the sound of rich middle aged white guys whining that now that their pro football team is gone, they don't have anything to do with their kids on the days they have custody. So the Ravens were born. In addition, while both teams have won the Super Bowl, the 49ers have won five times, most recently in 1995. I suppose if I were rooting for someone, it would be the Ravens.

The truth is, of course, that I don't care. According to this barely readable preview, this will be a game where matchups are key. Or something. The truth is that the NFL seems like 20-plus versions of the same team nowadays. It's one of the reasons the game is so boring now. Most games, the only real mystery is how many times they'll pass on first down.

For those who do care, or work for someone who does, here are the important points:

• Game time is 6:30 PM Eastern.
• The game will be broadcast on CBS in America.
• Beyonce is the pop star who will be providing half time entertainment. It might be more fun to put on her latest album and lip-sync it, but I'm sure you'll think of something.

If anyone finds out who won, please leave a comment.