Thursday, November 27, 2008

"Like Sacks Of Wet Cement"

Image credit: Screenshot of WKRP In Cincinnati by Cujo359. The producers and writers of this show are in no way responsible for this article.

The usual crowd of idiots are wondering what atheists could have to be thankful for, what with us not having a god to thank and all. To understand what at least some of us are thankful for, one merely has to watch an old TV show's Thanksgiving episode.

One of my favorite holiday TV episodes is WKRP In Cincinnati's "Turkeys Away". In this episode Mr. Carlson, the bumbler who owns the radio station, decides that he needs to take a more active role in running it. One of his decisions is to promote the station by dropping turkeys from a helicopter onto a crowd of shoppers. Carlson, sadly, is too ignorant to know that turkeys can't fly. Les Nessman, the station's news anchor, is an unfortunate witness to the results. "The turkeys are hitting the pavement like sacks of wet cement", he tells the station's no doubt horrified listeners.

Here's what I'm thankful for today. In a couple of months, our country will no longer be led by someone who makes Carlson look like a Rhodes Scholar. I'm tired of being dropped from a helicopter, as is much of the country. Bush has done his best to make the rest of us as ignorant and clueless as he is. Sadly, that's about the only accomplishment he can point to.

Whatever Barack Obama turns out to be, he'll almost certainly be an improvement. President Bush cannot leave office too soon, as far as I'm concerned.

As for the dipsticks who assume that non-theists have nothing to be thankful for, you need to develop an imagination. We have friends, family, and a world that is often beautiful and wondrous. We don't need to pretend someone made all that to be thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving. For all of you who aren't Americans, happy Thursday.


Dana Hunter said...

This atheist is thankful that NaNo is coming to an end. Who do I thank for this? The people behind the bloody idea, who decided not to make it National Novel Writer's Quarter. ;-P

And I'm thankful to you for being my friend, and for writing a post that made me laugh a good part of the day. I'll never get the image of falling turkeys out of my mind now. If I, apropos of nothing, say "Splat!" and burst out laughing, at least you'll know the reason why.

Just one tiny quibble... you call the morons who think atheists live miserable, lonely, thankless lives "dipsticks." This is a terrible insult to those simple, yet brilliant and useful tools that help us keep our oil topped up. Might I suggest "boils on the butt of humanity" for your next screed?

Happy Thanksgiving, my dear!

Cujo359 said...

Boils on the butt of humanity it is.

And you're welcome, my dear. I'm also thankful that the madness is almost over.

shoephone said...

Anyone who has the guts and fortitude to participate in NanoWrimo deserves my deepest admiration. 500 words a day is an accomplishment for me.

Cujo359 said...

These days, I'm lucky to get a couple of pages done a day.