In Which I Get Punked, Sort Of

Caption: OK, first you say there's a bone down there, and then ...

Image credit: Screenshot of this heartwarming story of a man and his dog by monty of Dead Air, reformatted by Cujo359.


Yesterday, a commenter named John Myste left a comment at Left Wing Nut Job article "If corporations are people, why aren’t the bastards paying their taxes like the rest of us?":

I am about as liberal as a person can be, but I have a real problem with corporate taxes. It is a justice thing. My opinion is logical, not partisan.

It would be really nice if we could get rid of corporate taxes altogether. I have always thought that, really. However, that would create a tax sheltering problem; but corporate taxation is tyranny.

Corporations are not people, so they should not have to pay taxes. Only people should have to pay taxes. Only people realize earnings. Corporate taxes complicate the paperwork for hard-working business men who are just trying to make it buck, if you know what I mean. If it were not for the generosity of these businessmen, the homeless would not be able to find a job, instead of just choosing not to, and then they would starve instead of eating my corporate taxes.

If corporations are people, why aren’t the bastards paying their taxes like the rest of us? comment by John Myste

It goes on at some length, which might be instructive to read for reasons I'll get to in a moment. Having read it through, I left this comment in reply:

Well, let’s see, divide the universe into two classes of objects, persons and non-persons, the latter class of which all are alike in some mysterious way, and then extend the 14th Amendment to cover taxing people at different rates, then, gosh, we just have to agree that corporations are people, too. Add in a little dash of “the poor don’t pay taxes”, plus a “you’re just really, really stupid if you don’t see things this way”, and you have some real crank comedic gold here.

If corporations are people, why aren’t the bastards paying their taxes like the rest of us? comment by Cujo359

To which came this reply:

You make me feel rebutted. I recant my entire corporate argument.

If corporations are people, why aren’t the bastards paying their taxes like the rest of us? comment by John Myste

When it comes to social interaction, I'm one of the dimmest bulbs who can still manage to have acquaintances who are living human beings. Even so, it was pretty clear I was being mocked, I just wasn't sure how.

Go read the rest of that comment thread to find out why.

It seems to be tougher than ever discern the difference between parody and real political discourse these days. If there's a moral to this story, pointing out the flaws in an argument, rather than just calling names and being done with it, can be instructive either way.

Oh, and watch out if a commenter named "John Myste" leaves something in your comment thread.

Afterword: Also noted in the thread that Dusty had to take one of her feline friends on one last trip to the vet today. My condolences. I've taken that trip twice now, and I don't think it will get any easier no matter how many more times I do it.

Maybe this will cheer you up a little. Mike Tyson playing Herman Cain - is that typecasting?